Crazy 16 Year Old Boys

Raising a 16 year old boy who is an only child is one of the hardest things I've ever done and at this point the hardest thing I think I'll ever do. Clearly I believe there will be other challenges in life but I'm not one to look out for the challenges.

Don't get me wrong, our son is a special one. In the neighborhood there are two fathers who want to trade sons with me. The cross country coach says he's easy to coach, and a great team player. His teachers love him.

We decided long ago that we wanted him to release his negative tension at home and not outside of home. Rarely do we ever tell him to stop. Like any 16 year old, he's crazy. His emotions explode at odd times and it's something to endure.

Like any 16 year old boy he's heavily influenced by things around him. We live in a community that is full of American Muscle cars, Tesla's, Maserati's and big duly trucks. It's car talk all the time. He loves watching Super Cross and my mornings are filled with the sounds to Tool, Rage Against the Machine and Green Day.

After one of his recent outburst of profanity and emotion I waited until he calmed down. I sat him down and asked him what he thinks defines a man. He had a good answer that was close to what I told him. I launched in by saying it's not about the car you drive, how much money you have in the bank, how much weight you can lift or how loud you can yell. I told him what the US Marines tell their young recruits. What makes a man is your character.

1. Do what you say your going to do
2. Always do your best
3. Treat others with respect

I had an Irish mentor years ago. He put it much more succinctly. His grandfather and father were painters and they taught him to be a painter. They asked him each day after work "Can You Put Your Name To It?"

The next morning after the crazy outburst our son came down stairs after his morning shower. He was listening to Country Music. He had his usual skip in his step. He was ready to address the day with good positive humble energy.

I run with a couple guys who are fathers of young boys. As with any age they are dealing with their challenges. I think they both kringe a bit when I tell them my stories.

For a long time I tried to diagnose all of this and at times tried to insert myself into the fray. I've learned to sit back and watch it all happen. Picking the moments where I can insert wisdom that will stick. I know it sticks because his coach, teachers and the other fathers tell me it does.


It's a good life...

Your Best

In the opening in one of the most moving speeches ever, Jim Valvano says if you do these three things every day you are leading a good life....

1. Laugh
2. Think
3. Cry

Laughter on our family is mostly easy to come by. Our Labrador Niki is of great entertainment. We watch John Stewart nightly and try to find the funny things in even the toughest situations.

The best thinking I have is in meditation. It's the calming factor for me and when I'm calm things are great. So 10 minutes minimum is my daily thinking routine. I like to do my meditation outside in the back yard or at the beach. There is also a great deal of thinking when I'm out running. Unless of course my heart rate is elevated. 

Finding tears is not hard for me. I welcome them. Watch the video above and you will be moved to tears. Listen to the I have a Dream speech. I am moved to tears watching Marco perform during a race. I am moved to tears when I think about my Dad or talk about my wife Mary. Whatever it is I fully agree with this notion. 

In his last public speech Jim Valvano a prolific motivator gave us his best. It's something to shoot for every day. Give the people you love your best. I think the three things above are a great way to get there. 

It's a good life....

Five for Friday: The Run Test

Wednesday was Run Test day. Here are 5 things I learned while testing my current run fitness.

1. It's more fun to have a rabbit with you. I did this test alone on the same course I did last time with my rabbit Andrew.
2. I've been running too easy when I'm supposed to be going hard. My hard has been at a HR of 155 when it should be 166 or higher according to my test. I thought as I got older that those upper limit heart rates would come down but they haven't.
3. Shoe choice is important. In my run test in late November I wore the heavily cushioned Saucony Triumph 12 and in this most recent test I wore the bedroom slipper New Balance Zante. Crazy as it is my feet felt better in the Triumph running "fast".
4. Running Form - It's really important. I concentrated heavily on my form during this test. I would not do that in a race but for this I felt getting that slight forward lean and high cadence was important. It felt really good doing this.
5. I will not test at 8am again. My run finishes going north on the coast highway. The southbound traffic is heavy at this time of the day. It felt like I was running into a stiff wind. This is not an excuse for my slower time it's just the reality. I've rather have a quiet place to run in windy conditions. The coast highway is a great place to run but not at 8am on a weekday.
6. I'm adding a 6th because it's quite important. I get up every morning and measure my reading (I do this while I read) heart rate and heart rate variability on the Sweet Beat Ap. My HRV on this morning was 12 beats lower than the day before which is roughly my average throughout all my testing. What this told me was to take the day off I was not rested/recovered. What I did instead was execute the test. 

As for the test itself, I'm encouraged. I was 20 seconds slower and I attribute that to my rabbit and my HRV. I know with a rabbit or in the middle of a race with some rest I'll be much faster. I also need to invest in better tools. For years I was the guy everyone came too for direction and comments on technology. I was really tight with Timex, Polar, Garmin, Nike and adidas. I never had to pay for anything which was a perk. During this test I held my phone. The system is one of the best I've used but holding my phone in my hand is crazy and I don't want to run with it on my arm. I need to find that watch Polar, Timex or Garmin that will give me what I want. Time/Pace/HR all on the same screen. I know it's out there but instead of them coming to me I need to go find it. It's much harder to trust these things when you have to pay for them.

It's a good life...